This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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