I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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