i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he shaved USA in his pubs
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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