She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
