there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
