i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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