So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
