omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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