Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
