Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
