i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize