I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
