i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
