That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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