That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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