someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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