batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize