I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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