I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
