i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize