id be glad to
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
