what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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