You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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