Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
