..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
