So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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