In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
