so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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