i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
