He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize