my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i out mim tonsoeep
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