Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
As shirtless as possible
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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