I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
