I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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