Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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