Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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