you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
