how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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