Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
