She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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