dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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