I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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