His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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