Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
