So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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