I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
