yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
