I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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