I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
