Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
