and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You're like the curious george of whores
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
