I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
