the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
