It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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