So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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