it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
