I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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