Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize