At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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