one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
