I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
